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Multi-Cultural and Gender Communication Styles in the Workplace

Steve Amoia
Technical Writer
June 4, 1998
AZ*Share Users' Conference

Agenda
Communication: Making Information Common
Culture
Personal Experience
Profound Demographic Shift
The Workplace Of 2000
What Time Is It
Is Culture A Factor In Air Crashes
Comments From Korean Air
Web Pages That Unlock Borders
Tips To Internationalize Your English
Cultural Miscues
AltaVista's Free Translation Web Site
Going Abroad Without Language Skills
Gender Communication: Key Differences
Mars Venus Institute: Dr. John Gray
Book Review: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
Mars Venus Phrasebook
Dr. Deborah Tannen
Book Review: Talking 9 to 5
Targeting Styles
Discussion
References

Agenda

Purpose: To increase your awareness of the different styles of Multi-Cultural and Gender Communication, with an emphasis upon international and female/male conversational patterns and rituals.
Define communication and culture, and discuss the changing US demographic profile.
Discuss the impact of the The World Wide Web, and provide some tips how to Internationalize your English.
Provide examples of Cultural Misunderstandings in Marketing, along with a few tips if you travel abroad.
Discuss the fundamental differences in gender communication styles.
Review the works from the communication experts: Dr. John Gray and Dr. Deborah Tannen.
Questions, comments, and discussion.

Communication: Making Information Common

Latin root of the word Communicare, which means to make common. “A process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior.” Courtesy of Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 10th edition.

Culture

Is a learned set of behaviors. “Many qualities of human life are transmitted genetically. An infant’s desire for food, for example, is triggered by physiological characteristics. An adult’s specific desire for milk and cereal in the morning can’t be explained genetically; rather, it is a learned response. Culture, as a body of learned behaviors common to a given human society, acts like a template shaping behavior and consciousness within a human society from generation to generation.” Eric Miraglia, Dept. of English, Washington State University. “What is Culture?”
It is how we conduct ourselves with each other.
Each organization, religion, and ethnic group has its own distinct culture.
“The integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for learning and transmitting knowledge to succeeding generations.” Courtesy of Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 10th Edition.

Personal Experience

Born and raised in the cultural diversity that defines Washington, DC.
Since my youth, exposure to soccer has exposed me to different cultures.
My first job was at a Cantonese restaurant with mostly Chinese born staff.

Profound Demographic Shift Creates The Need For More Cultural Awareness

According to the Census Bureau, 1 in 10 of our fellow Americans were foreign born. The two fastest growing groups are Hispanic and Asian Americans.
Ethnic divisions: Caucasian 74%, African American 12%, Hispanic 10%, Asian 3%, and Native American 1%.
By 2050, the projection is: Caucasian 53%, Hispanic 24%, African American 14%, Asian 8%, and Native American 1%.
Figures courtesy of Latino Link: “US Undergoing Major Demographic Shift, Census Bureau Says.”

The Workplace Of 2000

Caucasian males will account for only 45% of all workers, and only 15% of new hires.
Women of all races, non-Caucasian males, and new immigrants will account for 80% of the growth in our labor force.
Women will comprise 47% of the American workforce.
Courtesy of the Bureau of Labor Statistics as quoted in “Work Climate Warmer for Women.” The Washington Post, 24 March 1998. Page 1.

What Time Is It

The American Watch: “Time is perceived as rigid, segmented, limited and linear.” We are very concerned with punctuality, and getting down to business. For example, my presentation was scheduled to begin promptly at 2:20 p.m. Personal computers, pagers, cell phones, voicemail are no longer luxuries, but a way of life.
The Latin American/African/Arabic Watch: “Time is flexible, elastic, relaxed, unlimited and circular.”
Language shapes our view of time: “In the Sioux language, there is no word for time.” Japanese and Indonesian have no past or future verb tenses.
Quoted material courtesy of The Web of Culture: “It’s About Time.” Contributing author Syed Zafar.

Is Culture A Factor In Air Crashes

Korean Air Flight 801 crashed into a mountainside on Guam last August 6th, and 228 were killed. The plane was descending quickly on auto pilot, and the crew discussed the altitude problem. Someone said that “the airport is not in sight.” But not one crew member spoke up to alert the captain, as they were trained to do in critical situations.
In the last decade, only 5 airlines have had 4 or more fatal crashes. Four are Asian. Air India with 7, Korean Air with 5, China Air with 4, and Garuda Indonesian with 4. Only one was American: US Air, which had 5.
Koreans have a traditional deference to command authority. Theirs is a hierarchical society, where ours is more egalitarian and geared toward the individual.
A survey taken with pilots from 12 countries produced startling results: Korean pilots ranked highest in their confidence in automation. Pilots from the United States, Ireland, and Australia ranked lowest.
Courtesy of Washington Post: “Is Culture A Factor in Air Crashes? Guam Probe May Raise Touchy Issue.” 18 March 1998, Page A1.

Comments From Korean Air At The NTSB Hearing

At a NTSB hearing on 26 March 1998 in Honolulu, Capt. Park Pyong-woo, deputy director of flight operations, said “Our management up to now has been too short-term, shortsighted, and superficial. We plan to make long-term plans and spare no resources to ascertain this final objective of flight safety.”
At the same hearing, Capt. Lee Jung-taek, a Korean Air pilot instructor, admitted that “Crew members did not follow the airlines policy of ‘calling out’ to confirm messages from air traffic controllers as the jet approached the airport. “The accident crew’s standard call-out compliance was less than what we are taught.”
Quoted material courtesy of CNN Interactive, 26 March 1998. “Korean Air official says crash is changing management style.”

Web Pages That Unlock Borders

Remember that Web sites market 24 hours a day worldwide. Internationalize the English usage on your web page.
Common English phrases and symbols don’t always translate easily into other cultures, and at times are offensive to a particular culture. For example, the recent Nike shoe marketing effort that offended Muslims.
Colors: In some Asian cultures, white is associated with death. In some African cultures, red is associated with blood.
Localization: Target for local markets. Yahoo.com is an example of this. They have sites in the local languages, along with advertisements, for Australia & New Zealand, Canada, China, Denmark, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Korea, Sweden, UK & Ireland.
Courtesy of CIO Magazine: “Local Color”
It pays to know your target audience.

Tips To Internationalize Your English

English is the first language of over 400 million people worldwide. There are about 750 million who speak it as a second language, so there is a need to accommodate this significant population.
Here are some tips courtesy of Edmond Weiss, Fellow, Society of Technical Communication, Philadelphia Chapter:
Be polite. Foreign business culture is far more formal than our casual way of doing business. This needs to be reflected in any communication.
Adopt a controlled vocabulary. “Brevity is the soul of wit.” William Shakespeare
Choose words with one or few meanings. International readers will have trouble with such terms as “make a difference, make progress, and make sense.”
Use a standard grammar. Avoid dangling phrases at the beginning or end of a sentence.
Beware of the several Englishes. There may be more than one way to spell and punctuate. For example, defense versus defence. Behavior versus behaviour. At the hospital versus in hospital.
Avoid idiomatic expressions such as “Run a risk...Lose ground...Just Do It.”
Avoid humor and sarcasm.
Use bulleted lists and tables instead of paragraphs.
Define special terms or jargon in a glossary.
Choose words that are easy to pronounce. Avoid the “th sound, along with l and r.” Many Asian speakers have problems with these sounds. During WWII, the name of Larry was used as a code word to detect Japanese spies. Most pronounced the word as “Rarry.”
Information courtesy of “Twenty-five Tactics To Internationalize Your English” Intercom Magazine, May 1998, pages 11-15, Edmond Weiss, contributing author.

Cultural Miscues

Parker Pen: “I won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you.” When translated into Spanish for the Mexican market, it became “I won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant.” In Spanish, the word embarazar means pregnant, not embarrass.
Perdue Chicken: “It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken.” When translated into Spanish for the Mexican market, it became “It takes a man to make a chicken aroused.”
Quoted material courtesy of The Web of Culture: “Cross-Cultural Misunderstandings in the Business World.”

AltaVista's Free Translation Web Site

AltaVista's Translation Site.
You can link this site from your web page to assist non-English speaking visitors.
You can translate from English into the following languages: French, German, Italian, Portuguese, and Spanish.
Sample Translation:
In Spanish:
No me escapar� en su bolsillo y no le desconcertar�.
Toma un hombre resistente para hacer un pollo blando.
In English:
I will not leak in your pocket and embarrass you.
It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken.

Going Abroad Without Language Skills

Language learning is more difficult in adulthood, since the language center of the brain is more receptive during childhood. Also, we must confront the Ugly American attitude prevalent in the minds of many foreign citizens.

Print up bilingual business cards. Japanese clients will appreciate this.

Secure the services of a bilingual company representative to meet you at the airport to ease your initial arrival anxieties. Some English Departments at local universities provide similar services.

Print cards that say “Please take me to this hotel address.” “My name is ... I don’t speak your language. Please take me to (hotel, person, or address.)”

Two excellent web sites for essential survival phrases, along with online language learning, can be found at:
Travel Language (60 languages, along with sound capability.)
Free Online Language Courses.
For country specific information, visit the CIA World Factbook.
Berlitz has phrase books/tapes with phonetic pronunciation guides.

Gender Communication: Key Differences

“Girls’ brains are stronger in the left hemisphere, which is where language is processed, while boys’ are more oriented to the right hemisphere, the spatial and physical center.” Courtesy of The Washington Post, “Little Boys Blue.” 26 March 1998. Page 1, author, Megan Rosenfield.
“Women are four times more likely than men to modify their statements with weakening phrases such as ‘I think and I believe, or shouldn’t we all or isn’t this the right thing to do?’ The first two signal uncertainty; the latter are calls for debate. Men seek consensus through direction. Women seek consensus by question.” Courtesy of John Molloy’s Live for Success, pages 160-61.
Men communicate for status and dominance, and women to build consensus and to become intimate. “For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around. You use talk to preserve your independence. Females use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy. Talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. Courtesy of Dr. Deborah Tannen, “You Just Don’t Understand.” Reviewed by author Laura Bryannan.

Mars Venus Institute: Dr. John Gray

Dr. Gray is a well-known seminar presenter on the topic of men, women, and relationships. He has written seven books on the subject of gender communication, with an emphasis on relationships. He was a celibate monk for nine years, and also a computer programmer before focusing on relationship issues.

He interviewed over 25,000 men and women via seminar questionnaires. “I have been able to define in positive terms how men and women are different.”

You can read the first chapter of each of Dr. Gray’s books online. His web site is at the Mars Venus Institute.

Book Review: "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

“Two biggest mistakes we make in relating to the opposite sex: Men mistakenly offer solutions and invalidate feelings, while women offer unsolicited advice and direction.”
“Men and women commonly misunderstand each other because they speak different languages.”
“Martians tend to pull away and silently think about what is bothering them. To feel better, they go to their caves to solve problems alone. They don’t talk about what is bothering them, and never burden a friend with their problems unless the assistance is necessary to solve the issue. When a Martian finds a solution, he feels better, and comes out of the cave. If he can’t find a solution, he does things to make him forget his problem, such as reading the news or playing a game. The greater the stress forces the Martian to get involved with more challenging things like car racing or mountain climbing.”
“Venusians feel an instinctive need to talk about what's bothering them. To feel better, they get together to openly talk about their problems. Sharing your problems with another is not a burden, and they aren’t ashamed to have problems. Venusians openly share feelings of being overwhelmed, confused, hopeless, and exhausted. Venusians feel good about themselves when they have loving friends with whom to share their problems.”
“Martians assume that there is a logical order when Venusians randomly change from one problem to another. Martians look for the bottom line, and are fulfilled by working out the intricate details of solving a problem. Venusians are fulfilled by talking about the details of their problems.”

Mars Venus Phrasebook: Speaking Different Languages

According to Dr. Gray, the same words have different meanings. “To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic license to use various superlatives, metaphors, and generalizations. Men mistakenly take these expressions literally. They misunderstand the intended meaning and react in an unsupportive manner. Women express feelings, while men express information.”
Common phrases that are easily misinterpreted:
W: “I don’t feel heard.” M: “I heard everything you said.” Translation: I feel as though you don’t fully understand what I mean. (A man thinks that he has heard a woman if he can repeat what she has said.)
W: “Everyone ignores me.” M: “I’m sure people notice you.” Translation: Today I feel ignored and unappreciated. I feel as if nobody sees me.
W: “I want to forget everything.” M: “If you don’t like your job, just quit.” Translation: I want you to know that I love my work and my life, but today I am so overwhelmed.
W: “No one listens to me anymore.” M: “But I’m listening to you right now.” Translation: I am afraid that I am boring you and that you are not interested in me.
W: “Nothing is working.” M: “Are you saying it is my fault?” Translation: I am so overwhelmed and grateful to share my feelings with you.

Dr. Deborah Tannen, Georgetown University

Dr. Tannen is a Professor of Linguistics, and teaches in the sociolinguistics program at Georgetown University. She is an acclaimed expert on the subject of gender communication styles. Dr. Tannen has written sixteen books, along with several published articles and several prominent media appearances on MacNeil/Lehrer, 20/20, 48 Hours, CBS News, ABC World News Tonight, Oprah, Good Morning America, CNN, Larry King and NPR.

She is the author of the best sellers “You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation” along with “Talking 9 to 5: Women and Men in the Workplace. Language, Sex and Power.”

Her web site contains a comprehensive listing of published works: Dr. Deborah Tannen.

Book Review: "Talking Nine To Five"

Talking on the job: “Men use banter, joking, teasing, and playful putdowns. They expend effort to avoid the one-down position during the conversation…Women maintain an appearance of equality, taking into account the effect of the exchange on the other person. They expend effort to downplay speakers’ authority so that they can get the job done without flexing their muscles in an obvious way…For this reason, women may be seen as less confident and competent than they really are.”
Troubles Talk: Is more common among women then men, and “many men are likely to take the statement of a problem as a request to solve it. For example, the following was overheard at a nursery school: (Girl) Hey Max, my baby’s not feeling good. (Boy) So sorry. I’m not the one who fixes sick babies. (Girl) I wasn’t telling you to fix her, I was just telling you.”
Humor: “The most common form for men is razzing, teasing, and mock hostile attacks. In contrast, the most common form among women is self-mocking. Women often mistake men’s teasing and mock attacks as genuinely hostile and personal, and men often mistake women’s mock self-deprecation as truly putting themselves down.”
Why don’t men ask for directions?This is a classic example of avoiding the one-down position. “Men don’t want to reveal their lack of knowledge in a public setting. Women are more likely to ask questions in a public situation, and are unaware that they may appear to make a negative impression.”
Is the wage gap a communication gap? “From the time that they are little, most girls learn that sounding too sure of themselves will make them unpopular with their peers…The social inhibition against seeming to boast can make women appear less confident than they are, and to speak in styles that are less effective in getting recognized and promoted.”
Apologizing: “A negative impression is created when one apologizes frequently, and others do not. For many women, saying ‘I’m sorry’ is not literally an apology. It is a ritual way of restoring balance to a conversation; unfortunately, most men question the woman’s competence if she apologizes too frequently.”
Indirectness: Why don’t you say what you mean? “Many Americans find it self-evident that directness is logical and aligned with power whereas indirectness is akin to dishonesty and reflects subservience. In most of the world’s cultures, varieties of indirectness are the norm in conversations.” Some of us are more direct than others, especially when giving instructions or commands. Dr. Tannen found no direct correlation with gender in this area. “Ways of talking should not be taken as obvious evidence of inner psychological states such as insecurity or lack of self-confidence.”
Personal example: Childhood baseball coach who told the players exactly what they had to do to make the team. When a person was cut, he didn’t feel as it were a failure. The key was how the information was presented. And this example can be seen in the workplace. Effective managers, regardless of their gender, communicate their wishes with regard to their subordinate’s feelings. “The iron fist inside of a velvet glove…Stepping on someone’s shoes without messing up the shine.”
Sports Metaphors: Men use these frequently, and those who don’t understand sports (both men and women) are at a disadvantage.
Softening the Blows: Female Doctors have problems with other female nurses if they try to mirror the authoritarian speech styles of their male colleagues. “If you ally yourself with them, and respect them as professional colleagues, they will be your best allies.” There was an instance were a female doctor had to explain to a parent that their child had a serious brain disorder. The doctor softened the news by appearing hesitant and uncertain. The parent said that she was the most considerate of many doctors she had seen. “How often, when women talk in tentative, even seemingly confused, ways in order to soften the impact of what they are saying, are they seen as lacking in competence or confidence?” Again, it is the perception, not the reality.
Glass ceiling: In one of Dr. Tannen’s studies of a multinational corporation, she found that “Every senior manager pronounced every woman in his group not ready for promotion because she lacked the necessary confidence. According to a 1991 survey, women comprise only 6.5% of executive level management jobs. Is this due to sexism, or as Dr. Tannen believes, “the differences in women’s and men’s ways of talking works against women. It is mostly men who are making the decisions about promotions, and they are likely to misinterpret women’s ways of talking as showing indecisiveness, inability to assume authority, and even incompetence.”
“A woman who feels it is crucial to preserve the appearance of consensus when making decisions because she feels anything else would appear bossy and arrogant begins by asking those around her for their opinions. This can be interpreted by her bosses as evidence that she doesn’t know what she thinks should be done, that she is trying to get others to make decisions for her.”
“It is not uncommon for many men to say I in situations where many women say We….Women talk in ways to camouflage their achievements, to avoid sounding arrogant, and lessening the chances they would be recognized.”
Women and Authority: In one study, Dr. Tannen asked people for their impressions about their bosses. “I noticed a pattern. When they commented on women in managerial positions, but never with men, people often said ‘She’s abrasive…She is not abrasive…Not aggressive…Has a soft touch.’ There seems to be an expectation when a woman is in a high position that she will be unfeminine, negative, or worse.” Again, women go to great lengths not to appear authoritarian, even when they are in management positions. “The appearance of equality is ritual, not literal.”
“Part of the reason that many women in positions of authority speak in ways to downplay rather than emphasize the power of their position is simply an expression of the ethics of many women’s conversational rituals: the desire to restore balance to a conversation, and to take into account the effect of one’s words on others. Research has found that women in superior positions often take more care to avoid offending when talking to subordinates than to superiors.”
When women try to be more assertive, it often has unwanted effects away from the office. “Assertiveness required on the job causes problems at home. An attorney told me that her mother tells her ‘You are not a lawyer now.’ Her husband reminds her ‘You’re home now. Go out, come back in, and try saying that in a different way. I’m not your secretary.’ Another woman said her husband became angry because she hailed a cab in public with him. She was only doing what came natural during the course of her work.”
Status and Connection: Use of first names. “Women are frequently referred to by first name more readily than their male counterparts are. They tend to see this as evidence they are not respected as much.”
Hillary Clinton: “Almost without fail, ordinary people refer to the President as Clinton, and his wife as Hillary. During the Health Care Hearing, one senator remarked ‘You can’t imagine how great it is to talk with her, to call her “Hillary.” Other senators resented that the First Lady addressed them by first name. “Did you hear that she had actually been calling some senators by their first names?” Why was it acceptable to address her as Hillary, but not by the senator’s first names? “This response suggests the flip side sense that using first names shows a lack of proper respect.” Courtesy of The New York Times, Feb. 9, 1993, P. A9, “Hillary Clinton’s Debut Dashes Doubts About Clout.” Author, Maureen Dowd.
Talking at meetings: “Meetings are a pressure cooker microcosm of the workplace: A diverse group of people, with their own ideas, comes together to get a job done. Not everyone’s ideas can be taken up, and individuals’ styles, and how their styles interact with others’, are as influential as the quality of the ideas themselves.”
Phrasing comments: “Many people (especially women) try to avoid seeming presumptuous by prefacing their statements with disclaimers such as ‘I don’t know if this will work, but… You’ve probably already thought of this, but.’ In a meeting, beginning in this way prevents others from objecting on the grounds you mentioned.”
Men speak longer and more often: In an analysis of 7 university faculty meetings, “the men spoke more often and longer. The men’s turns ranged from 10.66 to 17.07 seconds; the women’s from 3 to 10 seconds. The longest contribution by a woman was still shorter than the shortest one by a man.”
Suggestion by Dr. Tannen: “Jump in and state an idea without worrying about how important it is…Practice speaking louder and at greater length.”
Understanding Conversational Style:“Women are marked in most work environments. Problems arise when peoples’ styles differ. And styles characteristic of many women put the speaker in a one-down position in conversations with those who have styles characteristic of men.”

Targeting Styles

According to Tony Robbins, author of “Unlimited Power,” most of us have a preferred communication style. Knowing a person’s style may assist you to communicate more effectively. There are ways to discern a style by employing good listening skills. The following are direct quotes from Mr. Robbins (pp. 126-7.)
“Visual: People who see the world in pictures. Ours is a visual culture, and the majority of North Americans are visual. Sample phrases are: An eyeful…Appears to me…Clear cut… Eye to eye … Looks like... Visual people speak very rapidly in short bursts. They tend to have nasal voices.
Hearing: People who are more oriented to sound. Loud and clear... I hear what you are saying…What you said rings true… That sounds right to me.… These type of people speak slower, and in more rhythmic tones. They choose their words carefully.
Feeling: People who react primarily to feelings. Heavy and intense… Get in touch with things… I’m reaching for an answer… Pull some strings… This group speaks very slowly, and has deep voices.”
Example: If you are trying to sell or convince a visually-oriented person, you stand a better chance of getting through by using visual terms. “You have to speak up so that your message matches the way their minds work.”

Discussion

Do you have any specific questions about my presentation?
Do you agree or disagree with the findings of Dr. Tannen and Dr. Gray?
What are some of your experiences with multi-cultural or gender communication?
Thank you!

References In Order Of Appearance

Eric Miraglia, Dept. of English, Washington State University. “What is Culture?”
Latino Link: “US Undergoing Major Demographic Shift, Census Bureau Says.”
The Web of Culture: “It’s About Time.”
CIO Magazine: “Local Color.”
“Twenty-five Tactics To Internationalize Your English” Intercom Magazine, May 1998, pages 11-15, Edmond Weiss, contributing author.
The Web of Culture: “Cross-Cultural Misunderstandings in the Business World.”
AltaVista Translation Software.
“Cultural Issues in Communication.”
“Nike Recalls Shoes that Offend Muslims.”
John Molloy. “Molloy’s Live for Success.” Pages 160-161.
Fred Klein. Intercom Magazine. April 1998. “More About Money and Language Learning.” Pages 38-39.
Washington Post: “Work Climate Warmer for Women.” 24 March 1998, Page A1, authors R.H. Melton & Kirstin Downey Grimsley.
Dr. Deborah Tannen. “You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation.” 1990.
Washington Post: “Little Boys Blue.” 27 March 1998, Page A1, author Megan Rosenfeld.
Washington Post: “Is Culture A Factor in Air Crashes? Guam Probe May Raise Touchy Issue.” 18 March 1998, Page A1, author, Don Phillips.
The Mars Venus Institute.
Laura Bryannan: Review of “You Just Don’t Understand.”
The official web page of Dr. Deborah Tannen.
Dr. John Gray, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.” J.G. Productions, Inc., 1991.
Dr. Deborah Tannen, “Talking From 9 to 5.” Avon Books, 1994.
New York Times, “Hillary Clinton’s Debut Dashes Doubts About Clout.” Feb. 9, 1993, Page A9, author, Maureen Dowd.
Anthony Robbins, “Unlimited Power,” 1988. Pages 126-127.

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Multi-Cultural and Gender Communication Styles in the Workplace

Steve Amoia Technical Writer June 4, 1998 AZ*Share Users' Conference

Table of Contents:

Steve Amoia
Technical Writer
June 4, 1998
AZ*Share Users' Conference